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Could You Use an Attitude Makeover?

January 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment

In this day of personal makeovers, we’ve seen people lose 100 pounds, get a nose job, and finally go after their dream career. But for many, an alteration of attitudes alone can bring transformative life experiences.

Changing how you approach daily living might help you achieve your ultimate goals. Even if you don’t think you’re in need of a total attitude makeover, check out some of the ideas below to discover positive approaches you can take to get the most out of your life.

Are you “Stuck” in a Dominant Attitude?

If you find yourself feeling the same way about a variety of situations in life, maybe you’re hanging on to the same attitude. If you have a particular, less-than-positive approach that dominates your life, it may be time for a makeover.

Reflect on Your Feelings

Take time to think about how you feel most of the time. How would you describe your dominant attitude? Is it contentment, sluggishness, happiness, annoyance, satisfaction, resentment, peace, envy, joy, worry, inquisitiveness, or even anger?

Examine Your Attitude Type

As you can see, some attitudes are positive, optimistic and motivating. If you’re blessed with a naturally positive dominant attitude, you’re in solid command of your life. You’re most likely already living the good life you deserve.

But if you notice that a less positive attitude is pervasive, make the decision now to alter how you think and feel.

Consider the following regarding these more challenging attitudes, and the ways in which they can detract from the quality of your life:

  • Sluggishness. If you have a sluggish attitude toward life, you’ll find yourself simply plodding along, doing barely what is required to get by. You might take little interest in anything and prop your feet in front of the television at every spare moment. Chances are, you set few, if any, goals.
  • Annoyance. If you find yourself consistently annoyed, you probably rarely feel satisfied with life. Something is usually amiss. When you’re annoyed, you may often sit in judgment of others, whom you see as unable to “do things right.”
  • Resentment. Being resentful involves feeling rankled, troubled and worked up most of the time. When resentment is your dominant attitude, you may feel challenged to manifest positive events in your life or enjoy the ones that do occur.
  • Envy. Feeling envious of others can include wanting what someone else has or feeling spiteful toward or competitive with others.
  • Worry. A prevailing attitude of worry means you often experience nagging feelings that things are not quite okay. In advance of an event, you construct many possible scenarios, with few of them leading to a satisfying finish.
  • Anger. An angry attitude is exhausting if you have to deal with it on a day-to-day basis, whether it’s your own attitude or someone else’s. When this attitude is dominant, usually there is a general sense of unhappiness.

Make Over Your Attitude

Once you determine you might benefit from an attitude makeover, you can get started right away. As an adult, you most likely already have all the skills you need to change your challenging state of mind.

Try these strategies to experience the joys of a more positive dominant attitude:

  1. Make a decision. Decide to rid yourself of the attitude that brings you down.
  2. Use reminders. Post reminders on your mirror and refrigerator and in your car to “catch” and let go of your old attitude.
  3. Replace the old. Select a more uplifting attitude as your dominant one. For example, happiness, joy, peace, satisfaction, or contentment as your chief attitude will strengthen your passion for life. When you notice your old attitude creeping in, replace it immediately with a more optimistic, motivating one. Refuse to surrender your power to that old state of mind.
  4. Affirm your new attitude. Apply your new frame of mind. Every day, say to yourself, “No matter what, I am [your new attitude].” Remind yourself that you’re stronger than your old, ineffective attitude.

If you identified any of the above challenging attitudes as your primary emotional state, you might get a lot of pleasure from an attitude makeover. By following these suggestions, you can begin to enjoy the good life you’ve always wanted.

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Overcoming Post-Holiday Blues

January 10, 2012 By Leave a Comment

The holidays are often a whirlwind of activity and emotion involving a busy schedule of shopping, school programs and get-togethers with friends and family. If you experience an emotional disappointment when the holidays pass, there are many things you can do to lift your mood and make it through the emotional let-down after the holidays.

These strategies will boost your spirits and get your New Year off to a great start:

  1. Take advantage of the extra time you now have for yourself. Since the holiday hullabaloo is over, you have some time to reflect. What do you like about your life? What would you like to change?
  2. Think about small goals you’d like to accomplish. Do you want to finally get that hall closet cleaned out? Maybe you can now complete that special project your boss has wanted you to do.
    • It’s a good time to make a list of all those little tasks you want to get done. Having the list will help you concentrate on your goals. Plus, it’s wonderful to draw a line through an achieved goal.
  3. Focus on you for a change. Now is the time to hone in on personal desires and goals. Perhaps you want to exercise more or spend more quality time with your children. Ponder how you might go about making the changes you seek. Think of taking little steps toward your big goals.
  4. Pursue an interest. We’ve all got those interests we hope to “get to” someday. Since you’ve got some down time now, why not go for it? Delve in to that subject you’ve been curious about or start the photography class you’ve longed to take.
    • If you’re not sure what you’re interested in, do some research. Visit your local library, browse some magazines or look in the newspaper. You’ll most likely find a couple of topics or activities you’d like to learn more about.
  5. Have a dinner party. You’ll have plenty of time to plan and prepare for this event with people you really care about. You’ll enjoy yourself and your mood will lift.
  6. Renew and refresh your surroundings. Do you feel like re-arranging the furniture in a room or two? Maybe you want to paint the walls or make new curtains. Re-decorating your surroundings is a wonderful way to go in to a new year and banish the holiday blues at the same time.
    • Re-focusing on your surroundings and thinking about any changes you want to make will help you de-focus from the doldrums.
  7. Re-connect with an old friend. There’s something so wonderful about making that call you’ve wanted to make. Hearing your friend’s voice again will bring great joy to your heart. It might be a friend from the old neighborhood, a former college roommate or a past co-worker you were once great friends with.

If you’re feeling down now that the holidays are behind you, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll begin to rise above those post-holiday blues when you try some of these strategies.

Taking some quality time for yourself during this period can lighten your mood immensely and ignite your excitement about the year ahead.

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Light Up Your Love Life This Holiday Season

December 1, 2011 By Leave a Comment

The holiday season offers lots of opportunities to spark your romance. Couples can draw closer together and singles can search for new connections. Even if the weather outside is cold and snowy, these tips will warm your heart.

Romantic Tips for Couples

  1. Spend time together. Take a break from the holiday bustle to give each other a little special attention. Spend some evenings at home before the fire or hold hands while you take a long walk through the freshly fallen snow.
  2. Create special rituals. Invent your own holiday traditions. Make a tree ornament each year and watch your collection grow over time. Watch an annual marathon of holiday movies and TV specials served up with eggnog and toasted nuts.
  3. Be nice to your in-laws. Earn some brownie points by being kinder to your partner’s family. Encourage your kids to make crafts that they can give to their grandparents or set up a special outing for them if they live nearby.
  4. Exchange meaningful gifts. For example, if you honeymooned in Paris, give each other tickets for a return trip with reservations at the same hotel. For the years you can’t get away, pick up a special bottle of French wine.
  5. Extend your hospitality. Your relationship will grow stronger from sharing your blessings with others. Invite your neighbors over for brunch. Donate your old books to a senior center and volunteer to read them aloud.
  6. Reminisce and plan ahead. Look back and remind yourself of happy memories. Share with each other the qualities you value in each other. Set goals for the future like starting a rose garden in the spring.
  7. Stay physically fit. Keep your love life strong by taking care of each other. Avoid holiday weight gain and exercise each day. Manage stress and stick to a regular sleep schedule. Give each other a new gym club membership.

Romantic Tips for Singles 

  1. Build up your confidence. Social pressures can sometimes make people uncomfortable about being single. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments. Develop a healthy sense of self-esteem.
  2. Take charge of your own happiness. Your life has value regardless of your marital status. Act happy and you’ll soon feel better. Devote your time to meaningful activities and those good feelings will endure.
  3. Socialize more. If you want to meet new people, you may need to go out more. Accept those holiday party invitations or throw your own potluck gatherings.
    • You may be more comfortable with an activity like ice skating instead of making conversation at cocktail parties. Bring along a friend if you’re hesitant to show up alone.
  4. Focus on others. If being single causes you any distress, distract yourself by looking for ways to help others. Pass around the snacks at parties. Chat with people who are standing on the sidelines. Join the welcoming committee at your local professional association.
  5. Dress up. The person you are inside is what really counts, but attractive packaging has advantages, too. Put your best foot forward by buying some new shoes or a handsome necktie. Experiment with a new hairstyle or makeup that will make you feel irresistible on New Year’s Eve.
  6. Pace yourself. The holidays can be a challenging time to start a new relationship. Exchange modest but thoughtful gifts if you’ve only dated a few times. A book or bakery treat can show you care without being overwhelming. 

Celebrate the holidays by spending more time with the ones you cherish and by reaching out to new people. The love and affection you give away will return to strengthen your old relationships and create new ones. And that’s truly something to celebrate, all year long.

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How to Set Boundaries to Transform Your Life

November 3, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Would you like to make more time for the important things in your life? Do you feel like you often get lost in the details?

If you can set healthy limits, you’ll regain control of your life. Some benefits of this can include:

  • Life is simpler, more manageable, and therefore more stress free.
  • You’re able to achieve your goals.
  • When you value your time and show that you have priorities, others will also see your time as valuable.
  • You become more effective in almost everything you do.

Rather than focusing on life’s trivia or biting off more than you can chew, read on for some tips on setting boundaries that work for you. 

Examine Your Routine

To start this process of boundary setting, look at your daily routine. What consumes most of your time? Try to identify the places where you feel overloaded.

Maybe it’s watching too much television, spending too much time on Facebook or Twitter, or subscribing to too many blogs or newsletters. Perhaps you’re just glued to your mobile phone. Calculate how many hours you spend on such activities and cut down on them.

Then, try allotting a certain amount of time to each of these activities. Maybe give yourself an hour for your email instead of two. Each day, write down exactly how much time you spent.

After a week, look at your numbers. Did you do better than before you were tracking your time? More importantly, did you feel like you had more time for what you really wanted to do?

Refrain from trying to deal with everything at once. Address each time individually, and you’ll gradually see a change in your routine.

Identify Essential Tasks

Once you begin to set limits on your activities, you’ll be able to simplify further by sticking with the essential ones and reducing the trivial. The essentials may be organizing your closet, catching up with your reading, or balancing your checkbook.

Determine your values and goals. The essentials will depend on these. Whatever you choose should make a big difference to your life. For instance, if you want to be a good athlete, you’ll make the time to train on certain days during the week. If you can’t read through all your emails on those days, that’s okay! That’s not your #1 priority for the day, anyhow.

You may want to make a list of things to do. Then you can set your priorities. For example, you could put off cleaning the kitchen shelves in order to pay your bills.

Be Aware of Your Energy Levels

You may set out to clean your entire house in a day or take the kids to the park for a ball game and find your plans impossible because you just don’t have that kind of energy. Know your limitations and work within those boundaries for greater success.

Budget

Just like you’ll want to know your personal limits, you also need to know your financial limits. Make an effort to align your spending with your goals and values. For instance, if one of your values is knowledge, you might choose to buy a book rather than a new outfit.

Ultimately, if you’re looking for more hours in your day, these tips are a great place to start. Try out some of the suggestions above and you’ll begin to set boundaries that work for you. By doing this, you can simplify your life and make the most of work and leisure times. Best of all, you can start today.

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Four Tips for Triumphing Over Emotional Setbacks

October 27, 2011 By Leave a Comment

There’s a saying that goes, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” If this rings true to you, even a little bit, you can apply the expression to any emotional setback you experience. Each challenge can serve as both a learning tool and a growing experience if you let it!

Maybe you’re trying to recover from a breakup, or perhaps you’re learning to cope with the passing of a loved one. Whatever your situation, it’s possible to take action to enable you to feel less overwhelmed by these emotions.

The route you take to healing can help you gain valuable benefits from your challenging experiences.

Try these tips to triumph over emotional setbacks and get back to the happy, healthy life you’re accustomed to:

  1. Help someone in need. There’s always someone who’s worse off than you are! Chances are, if you spend time trying to help that person out of the slump they’re in, you’ll feel fulfilled and capable. In turn, this will help you rise above your own emotional setback.
    • Emphasize their strengths. Show them that they have what it takes to overcome.
    • Provide the emotional support they need. A listening ear can do wonders!
    • Allow yourself to lose yourself in that person’s cause.
  2. Get in tune with your spiritual side. Reaching inward is a very effective way to build the strength you need to recover emotionally. Whether you’re into meditation or spiritual guidance from a higher power, you can gain strength by drawing on your internal resources.
    • Try praying for emotional healing.
    • Spend time contemplating prior experiences that showed you the power of faith.
    • Most of all, believe in your abilities to overcome. If this seems hard to put faith in, ask for help from a trusted counselor. Or go straight to your higher power.
  3. Sign up for a project. Sometimes putting aside your personal feelings and focusing on a worthy cause can help you heal without you even knowing it! Your project could be a charitable feeding program to help others. Or perhaps you’d feel engaged by a sculpting course that brings out your creative side.
    • Disconnect from the source of your emotional downfall and focus on making a positive impact elsewhere.
    • Put your heart into your new project so that your emotions are engaged in something other than your sadness.
    • Share your fulfillment with friends and family.
  4. Confront your issue. Beyond all else, the most effective way to get over emotional setbacks is to look the issue right in the face. That way, you can handle the issue for what it really is. Sometimes, coming to terms with an unfortunate reality is the best remedy!
  • Are you feeling challenged by a breakup? Take an honest look at the outcome. Are there any ways that you’re better off without that person in your life?
  • Is the issue the passing of a loved one? Regardless of what you believe about what happens after death, chances are good that they’re in a much better place!
  • Did you lose your job? Take a step back and look at yourself. Which of your untapped resources can you use to turn your dilemma into a beneficial situation? Are you sitting on a talent you never explored?

We’re all designed to feel emotions, both good and bad. But we’re also made to learn from them and allow them to connect us to our true purpose in life. You’re no different!

Embrace your emotions for what they are. Accept them. Then move forward, knowing that what you learn now will help sustain you through a lifetime of challenges and joys.

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